Have you SEEN me?

Formerly Not So Much. . .the daily musings of a 26-year-old PYT whose self-love is superceded only by her obnoxiously endearing ability to remind you at all times just how fabulous she is. Guys too stupid to realize how lucky they are to be graced with her presence? Woman with 4-pack abs climbs onto the elliptical trainer next to her? Arrives at Chick-Fil-A at 10:37, only to learn she has missed her opportunity for a chicken biscuit? She throws all these setbacks off with disdain. . .after all, have you SEEN her??

Friday, April 02, 2004

Lessons In Love

-- LESSON #1--
When on a date, or when trying to woo a potential suitor/suitee, try not to get so drunk that any of the following happen:
(a) You remove any portion of your clothing as part of a "dare" or "game";
(b) You end up crying... particularly over past failed relationships;
(c) You feel the need to repeatedly slur the phrase, "No, no, no, but you need to know, that I REALLY, REALLY like you. Please don't think I'm just drunk. I REALLY, REALLY like you."
(d) You wake up naked next to that person (or someone else) and don't remember how you got there;
(e) You discuss your analysis (thereby confirming that you've already thought about this) of what your potential children would look like;
(f) You enter their phone number and/or name into your cell phone incorrectly such that it reads something like "STEVFQ - 770-354-99023";
(g) You puke on them.

Please note: in order to protect the innocent (and not so innocent), the offending parties described above have not been identified by name. And yes, I really do know people who have done each of the above. Some people are guilty of multiple of the above... I personally, plead the Fifth.

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