Have you SEEN me?

Formerly Not So Much. . .the daily musings of a 26-year-old PYT whose self-love is superceded only by her obnoxiously endearing ability to remind you at all times just how fabulous she is. Guys too stupid to realize how lucky they are to be graced with her presence? Woman with 4-pack abs climbs onto the elliptical trainer next to her? Arrives at Chick-Fil-A at 10:37, only to learn she has missed her opportunity for a chicken biscuit? She throws all these setbacks off with disdain. . .after all, have you SEEN her??

Thursday, April 29, 2004

Mother's Day thoughts...

With Mother's Day approaching, a few thoughts on my mother...

I love my mother dearly. My entire life, she has told me that I am the most wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, witty human every to grace this Earth. I have confidence and positive self-esteem solely because of her tireless efforts to convince me that I am nearly flawless. And all joking and exxageration aside, I truly do appreciate the generous, yet unhealthy, amount of love that she has showered me with my entire life. She is my example of the true depth and breadth of a mother's love.

That said, the woman makes me insane sometimes.

As I've mentioned a time or two in this blog, the boyfriend is a bit quirky. Sometimes downright strange. But as anyone else who knows me can see, I find it endearing and amusing. He sometimes frustrates me (what guy doesn't), but as I've recently been reminded, all I have to do is talk to him about how I'm feeling and he completely comes through with the affection I need. In short, this is the most healthy, adult relationship I have ever had... by FAR. And , this is the most "in love" I have ever been.

It's still early. I'm not jumping the gun. Not making any life decisions. Not rushing into anything.... I'm just enjoying the feeling of really liking someone. I'm enjoying the feeling of new love.

And yet my mother feels the need to caution me everytime we talk about the boyfriend and how happy I am. She cautions me in essence, that he sounds weird and that weirdness may be cute at first and then very irritating later on.

Okay...
#1... Do you not see that I'm happy here? Would it kill you to just let me be happy, be in love, actually LIKE a guy for the first time in a long time?

#2... Is there such an imminent threat to my life's happiness that you have to focus on how one day he MIGHT irritate me? He MIGHT do a lot of things one day. So MIGHT I. Must I live my life focused on those MIGHTs right now, or could I just enjoy the fact that at least for right now, HE MAKES ME REALLY FRIGGIN' HAPPY!

#3... She has never even met him! And now, I'm not really sure I want her to because it appears that she only takes note of the negative. I'm not sure I want to subject him to that kind of scrutiny. And I sure as shit don't want to subject myself to whatever negative qualities she is sure to identify and harp on after meeting him.


I know, I know. She is only looking out for me. It's just because she loves me. No one will ever be good enough. Blah, blah, blah.

I'm seriously vowing right now, in front of God and the blogging world, that I shall NEVER tell my mother another detail about the boyfriend. I shall describe him generally and blandly so that there will be nothing for her to criticize or form an opinion on.

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