Have you SEEN me?

Formerly Not So Much. . .the daily musings of a 26-year-old PYT whose self-love is superceded only by her obnoxiously endearing ability to remind you at all times just how fabulous she is. Guys too stupid to realize how lucky they are to be graced with her presence? Woman with 4-pack abs climbs onto the elliptical trainer next to her? Arrives at Chick-Fil-A at 10:37, only to learn she has missed her opportunity for a chicken biscuit? She throws all these setbacks off with disdain. . .after all, have you SEEN her??

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Miss Issues' Questions (that she stole)

1. How many sexual partners have you had?  I defer to Miss O's Answer:  Enough to know what I'm doing and be damn good at it, few enough to not have forgotten what it's like with someone you love and trust. 

2. What was the best sexual experience you've ever had?  Caveat:  it's always best with those you love and feel a certain level of comfort with.  It was nice and comfortable and good with both of the last 2 boyfriends.  That being said. . .

The best intercourse I've ever had. . .I hate to say it, but it was the guy I cheated on the last boyfriend with.  Which doesn't make ANY sense since we have not nearly the level of comfort that I SHOULD'VE had with past boyfriends.  I think it had a lot to do with the fact that boyfriend was emotionally aloof and this guy, at least for the time he put up the act, knew all the right things to say and how to be smooth and how to seem affectionate. . .which is what I was SORELY lacking in my relationship.  Combine that pseudo-comfort with an older guy who knew what he was doing. . .and. . .voila.  We got to know each other more and more and now are pretty good friends with an odd little bond, even if he is crazy, neurotic, and emotionally unavailable, at the end of the day.  But well, let's sum it up thus, when I came back to the room where my girlfriends were the next day, I said, "Y'all.  He drives a Porsche."  And my friend asked, "Well, does he f$#@ like a Porsche?"  My response:  "Whatever.  He was big.  You would've done it too."  
 
3. The worst?  Oh geez.  I've had some doozies.  How about the guy who made up some crazy story that the reason he was "having trouble" had to do with some kind of pill his friend had given him, that he didn't know what it was, but he was SURE that was the reason, it couldn't just be YOU'RE DRUNK?  How about the guy who had to take a momentary hiatus to go throw up?  How about the guy who wanted to pretend like we were husband and wife?  How about the time I blacked out and couldn't remember, but was told we had (which was mortifying, cause I really liked the guy!), then proceeded to be treated like I was actually someone he was really dating, and then I actually WASN'T at all, and what a sleaze!  Alright, you're up to 8 (if you add boyfriends and the guy from Question 2 you know about), and I stop there.   

4. Masturbation...best thing since sliced bread or most horrific thing you can think of ever doing to yourself?  Sometimes, I'M the best I've ever had.

5. What's your favorite color?  Pink.

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