Have you SEEN me?

Formerly Not So Much. . .the daily musings of a 26-year-old PYT whose self-love is superceded only by her obnoxiously endearing ability to remind you at all times just how fabulous she is. Guys too stupid to realize how lucky they are to be graced with her presence? Woman with 4-pack abs climbs onto the elliptical trainer next to her? Arrives at Chick-Fil-A at 10:37, only to learn she has missed her opportunity for a chicken biscuit? She throws all these setbacks off with disdain. . .after all, have you SEEN her??

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

A Woman's Worth...

I have this friend who is systematically self-destructing. She is one of the most impressive people I know. Bright and beautiful. Accomplished and interesting. She's got everything going for her... except one thing. She hates herself.

She doesn't like the way she looks. And even beyond her looks, she feels "not good enough". She is embarassed about her job, her salary, the fact that she's single, and the fact that she rents rather than owns her home. She feels like she should be further along in her life, and she worries what people must think of her that she isn't.

The real irony is that she keeps spiralling further and further into depression. She just can't seem to get ahead. And yet, having watched her perpetuate this cycle for some time now, I can say with complete certainty that she IS dead-ended for only one reason... her attitude.

She doesn't believe in herself. She expects life to let her down, and she approaches every situation with that attitude. Not surprisingly, that negativity, cynicism and hurt come through in everything she does. She doesn't realize it. She thinks she's hiding it at the appropriate times. But self-hatred is one of those things that you can never completely cover up. And so frequently, opportunities pass her by, in favor of someone with a happier outlook. And she just spirals further down the cycle.

For all my friends... just a reminder that life is not so much about reaching certain destinations. It's not about acquiring things - material things or even statuses. It's about the journey. We may look forward to getting married or having children, owning a home, maybe even reaching some professional goal. But life isn't just about enjoying those few moments where goals are realized. It's about enjoying the scenery on the way there too, and very often, enjoying the scenery even when we fall short of a goal.

Our worth is not measured by our salary, job title, the measure of your waistline or even your marital status. Our worth is measured by how often we smile or laugh today and how many others we help to smile or laugh. So to all my friends, please smile and laugh today and try to enjoy the day for where you're at in your life right this minute, rather than worrying about how different you would like for things to be.

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