Have you SEEN me?

Formerly Not So Much. . .the daily musings of a 26-year-old PYT whose self-love is superceded only by her obnoxiously endearing ability to remind you at all times just how fabulous she is. Guys too stupid to realize how lucky they are to be graced with her presence? Woman with 4-pack abs climbs onto the elliptical trainer next to her? Arrives at Chick-Fil-A at 10:37, only to learn she has missed her opportunity for a chicken biscuit? She throws all these setbacks off with disdain. . .after all, have you SEEN her??

Monday, July 12, 2004

Internet Dating

Yes, it's unusual. Yes, it's not the way we used to do things. Yes, it was sort of taboo up until recently, but is becoming less so. And yes, there are a lot of freaks online. But I'm going to stick up for it! There are a lot of normal people online too. Attractive people with good jobs and good personalities that may be conducive to your own. There's nothing any more wrong or weird about meeting someone this way as any other way. Do I think I'll meet the man of my dreams over the internet? Probably not, but you never know. I've had decent dates and also made some friends over the internet, believe it or not. Friends that I have in real life.

I'm really bothered by the feeling that some people seem to have that it's wrong or weird or creepy or "not good enough" for them. There seems to be a pervasive, "Well, if they're so good, why are they on the internet?" Well. . .that's the old, "If they're so great, why are they single?" argument. And if you're looking for someone to date. . .so are you. It's not fair to think that way. For people who've decided it's not for them, it doesn't work, that's cool. I just really don't like the haughty contempt with which some people gaze on the internet dating revolution, like that's not a "real" way to do things. It is. It's fine. I've met equal percentages of sleazy guys in bars as online frankly. It's no worse or better than anything else.

I just find it ironic that the same people who bitch about not having dates are the same ones who don't accept the date offers they get, don't facilitate being asked on dates by being receptive to potential offers and friendly to potential offerors, and don't work all their angles to find dates (included, but not limited to, the internet). The phone doesn't ring off the hook at home just because you're attractive or smart or funny or all of the above. . .you have to do things to make it happen too. I'm going to get guffaws from some people for posting this (I should request royalties) but this book, which is an easy read, really helped me to up my "dating" quotient (if you're interested in doing that; if you're not, ok, fine, but stop complaining). Some of it is silly, but if you read it like a mature, independent woman and discard the silly stuff, there are some really good tips in here. And the main thing it advocates is letting men know that you're receptive to being asked on dates, and giving guys a chance that you might not initially think are "your type" or "good enough." She talks about internet dating too, as a resource, but it just ties in and reminds me that people who limit their options are the same ones bitchin'. That's just annoying. Step up (and do things to make it happen) or shut up.

**Disclaimer: this was inspired by some comments on another blog, and the people commenting will know when they read this that it's "inspired by" a true story. These comments are not necessarily directed towards you; it just got me to thinking about other attitudes I've encountered. So don't get huffy ;-)

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