Have you SEEN me?

Formerly Not So Much. . .the daily musings of a 26-year-old PYT whose self-love is superceded only by her obnoxiously endearing ability to remind you at all times just how fabulous she is. Guys too stupid to realize how lucky they are to be graced with her presence? Woman with 4-pack abs climbs onto the elliptical trainer next to her? Arrives at Chick-Fil-A at 10:37, only to learn she has missed her opportunity for a chicken biscuit? She throws all these setbacks off with disdain. . .after all, have you SEEN her??

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

My memoirs will be entitled "The Honorable Harlot."

Ok, so I finally got caught by Ejacu-mail (by the way, ironically, he never even received the ejacu-mail). I tried to flirt, be charming, be funny, be cute, beat around the bush, not give anything away, and just not go one way or the other, and make him believe that the jury is still "out" on him, even though it's not. I just didn't want to get into it with him, and he was with a friend that he had picked up from the airport. I couldn't do it. I finally just out and told him I thought he was kind of sleazy, I didn't feel good about it, and we weren't going to be sleeping together. So, instead of going, you know, that's totally cool, I respect that, he instead tries to make me feel guilty about MY decision!

I start out by telling him, "If I want to fuck someone indiscriminately, I can fuck someone who's unencumbered."**

"Well, you know, that's cool, but you know, if you think you've never hooked up with someone who had a girlfriend before, you're fooling yourself."

"That's not the point, that doesn't enhance your argument. Me KNOWING that someone has a girlfriend is totally different from someone ELSE cheating on theirs and keeping that information from me. This is about you and your situation, which I know about. It makes me a bad person to KNOW I'm doing wrong. And I just can't. I don't think it's appropriate. I would hate for someone to do it to me and I can't, therefore, do it to her."

"So you'd rather sleep with a liar than someone who tells the truth."

"There are no points for honesty in this particular game. This is a bad argument. It's stupid. Now, you're just sleazy and stupid."***

"No, I think it's a great point! You're mad cause I'm making a great point! You just need to make sure that you're not living in a glass house before you go being judgmental towards me."

"Brent, I'm slutty, I'm not sleazy. There's a difference."

"Not really."

"That's not the point. This is beyond what I feel comfortable with. You have to do what's right for you. That's fine, that's cool. I can't do it."

"But what about. . . .?"

"No. No. Save it for the next woman you try to sleep with."

** (I don't think he knew all those words, but the general sentiment was there. I especially like the assonance on fuck and unemcumbered. That's for my stepdad, who doesn't read this blog, but who always asks me, why, if I know so many words--English major--I use the f-word so much, to which I explain to him, Carl, if I know so many words, you can know that when I use it, I use it on purpose, by choice.)
***Before I get posts about how I don't have to be so harsh, there was more general sleazy talk and vibe and judgment and bad arguments making me feel like it's no worse that what I've already done in my life up til now, all before I said this, I just may not have all the dialogue in the right order, totally. I didn't call him stupid until he REALLY REALLY deserved it.

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