Have you SEEN me?

Formerly Not So Much. . .the daily musings of a 26-year-old PYT whose self-love is superceded only by her obnoxiously endearing ability to remind you at all times just how fabulous she is. Guys too stupid to realize how lucky they are to be graced with her presence? Woman with 4-pack abs climbs onto the elliptical trainer next to her? Arrives at Chick-Fil-A at 10:37, only to learn she has missed her opportunity for a chicken biscuit? She throws all these setbacks off with disdain. . .after all, have you SEEN her??

Friday, November 05, 2004

More Phone Calls

Last night, I left TJ a text message (from my blackberry): "Call me at work when you get this." Now, I said AT WORK for a reason. I thought about adding that I had left my cell at home on my lunch break, but I thought, "no, it says at work, he'll call me at work." He didn't. I had two messages on my cell when I got home, espousing the view that he was promptly, and then twice, returning my phone call and where was I? Why don't men pay attention? was the attitude I had when I returned his call. "Hey TJ, do you know what I asked you to call me AT WORK?" He didn't bite. "What, did you say at work?" "Yes." "I called you back." After playing this little roundabout game for him for a few minutes, I finally said, "I asked you to call me AT WORK because I left my cell at home when I was home for lunch." He didn't have the dramatic, oh-my-gosh-I'm-so-dumb reaction I'd hoped for. He was just generally annoyed.

After explaining the reason for the message (just to coordinate something with him), I apologized for being patronizing or nasty, but explained that I was just irritated when he didn't listen, which seems to happen with some regularity and we end up having the same conversation two weeks later. Now, this particular day, I didn't know that he had a lot of other things on his mind. I suspect and know that it includes some of the following:

a) He's going home this weekend and apparently, his parents aren't speaking. 70+ years old, and you're NOT SPEAKING. Great. Now I see where TJ the Nasty Silent Treatment Clown of Fun comes from.

b) The antenna on his truck is bent and not working properly.

c) It started pouring rain while he was driving around for work.

d) He's just generally pissy when things don't go his way, and

e) (here's the one I suspect), his girlfriend is going out to get shitfaced with her single girlfriends all weekend and he's feeling a little insecure about what kind of antics I might be up to, without him. . .or just in general, me having fun WITHOUT him.

I called him a little while later and left him a really sweet message telling him that I wished I could give him a great big hug, I missed him, I'm sure everything would be fine, I'd see him soon, etc. etc. He never called me back so I called him around 11. He was totally pissy. The only time his testosterone-infused pissed-off demeanor cracked ever so slightly (or did I imagine it?) was when I asked if he got my message, to which his little "yes" sounded ALMOST like he wanted to break down and confide in me and that he wished I were there that very moment. . .right before he went back to, "I'm fine, I have to do my lab report" gruffness.

So, I said, "I don't want to keep you, just checking to make sure you're ok." And I went to sleep.

So, honestly, I'm a little hurt this morning. I'm calling to make sure you're ok and you're gruff with me. Stoopid, I'm your girlfriend, I LOVE you, I want to make everything ok, and I'm TRYING to make you feel better. But I know that a) it has NOTHING to do with me, and b) he'll call me when he needs a little bright spot in his day, right? I want to call again and say, "how are you feeling today?" but I got burned with his bad attitude last night. . .he'll call me when it naturally improves and I just need to back off, don't I? I want to make sure that when I talk to him next, he 120% wants to talk to me. . .and the only way I can usually guarantee that is by waiting for him to call me. . .

What do you think?

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