Have you SEEN me?

Formerly Not So Much. . .the daily musings of a 26-year-old PYT whose self-love is superceded only by her obnoxiously endearing ability to remind you at all times just how fabulous she is. Guys too stupid to realize how lucky they are to be graced with her presence? Woman with 4-pack abs climbs onto the elliptical trainer next to her? Arrives at Chick-Fil-A at 10:37, only to learn she has missed her opportunity for a chicken biscuit? She throws all these setbacks off with disdain. . .after all, have you SEEN her??

Friday, October 22, 2004

Doesn't Kiss Off Your Teeth Either

I am a Gorgeous Sex Kitten

Someone else just told me I look like Ashley Judd, and her husband and his friend agree. You know what THAT means. You think I'm goooorr-geous. You want to maarr-rry me. But honestly, upped my confidence today, I'm a big Ashley Judd fan!

Doesn't Kiss Off on Your Teeth Either

So, that doesn't kiss off on your boyfriend lipstick. Well, I didn't want to fool with my lipstick today, so I applied it. Clinique Ruby Lips. Gorgeous stuff. Red, shiny. But it sort of flakes off in little bits if your lips aren't moisturized enough (and mine usually are, but this stuff dries them out). So, it flakes a little in the AM. Before lunch, I go to reapply. We're interviewing a potential summer hire today and I want to "freshen up." I reapply the red. I have to wait a minute to apply the clear top coat. I don't wait long enough. The red comes off with the clear. Damn. So now I have these gorgeous little splotchy places where I've worn off the red and now stripped it off by not allowing the new layer to dry enough before sealing it with the clear top coat. The stuff is like ARMOR, I swear, once you get it on properly. So I touch up the splotchy places again. Wait. Apply the clear. This time, it doesn't wipe it off, but it's still flaky and the consistency of the layer of lipstick isn't smooth and rich; it's like a thick layer of impervious red paint of which some has dried and it is leaving ugly little flecks in the topcoat that you're applying. Really, THINK PAINT, you'll get what I mean. Fuck.

So, what to do now. I frantically reapply. I'm running out of time. I return to my desk to try and make sense of the fleckled uneven mess that is my lipstick. I decide that touch up work will not do and that I need to reapply all layers. I smile a big toothy grin to find. . .it's all over my bottom front teeth! Egads!! What if it doesn't kiss off teeth either?! I frantically scrub the teeth with my fingers. The red clings. A little more spit and they're only slightly tinted red. Good Lord, I'm a mess.

I luckily had some good old fashioned lipstick in the purse. I went with a slightly different shade, mixed copiously with carmex to restore moisture to my flaky little pout crying out in its state of red tinted dehydration. "Please don't make us wear the doesn't kiss off lipstick again," they seem to cry. 5:06 PM Flakiness is mostly remedied.

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