Have you SEEN me?

Formerly Not So Much. . .the daily musings of a 26-year-old PYT whose self-love is superceded only by her obnoxiously endearing ability to remind you at all times just how fabulous she is. Guys too stupid to realize how lucky they are to be graced with her presence? Woman with 4-pack abs climbs onto the elliptical trainer next to her? Arrives at Chick-Fil-A at 10:37, only to learn she has missed her opportunity for a chicken biscuit? She throws all these setbacks off with disdain. . .after all, have you SEEN her??

Friday, May 07, 2004

I don't think I want this anymore. . .

Ok, so he never called. I mean, I knew on Wednesday he wouldn't call Thursday because of the Friends Finale and my little party, and his poker game. I knew that I could probably expect a call this afternoon (Friday by the way) and that I was going to have to just tell him how completely unacceptable this type of behavior was and that I really could not feel good about dating him if I felt like such a low priority that he couldn't even call in the middle of the week to make plans for the weekend. Now, you're thinking, "obviously, he's already made that determination, Molly, that you're not dating and/or that he doesn't want to be dating and/or that that is not his intention at all." And I would wholeheartedly agree. . .except for the emails. . .

Apparently, emailing became a good substitute for calling this week, several light, fun, talking about Must-See TV Will & Grace emails were exchanged this week, the last one (yesterday, Thursday) ending with "So what are you doing this weekend?" Now, is that a polite way of saying, "I hope you already have plans that don't include me." Or is that a way of gauging whether I might be able to see him? If it's the first. . .stop emailing. . .and calling. . .me. If it's the latter, are you F-ing kidding me?? Why haven't you called before now? If you wanted to see me this weekend?

The sad thing is. . .after planning out exactly how cool-headed and rational and yet, getting my point across, I'm going to be with him this afternoon when he calls (or before the weekend is over, when he calls). . .you guys, there is NOTHING he could possibly do to make me feel better right now, today. And that just makes me sad. It would've meant everything if he'd called Wednesday. But he didn't, and it's just too late. If he absolutely kissed my behind this afternoon, apologized profusely, begged to make plans with me for tonight, I would still have to say no to get my point across, and then I'm not free again until next Tuesday. Today, from the perspective of me and Scott, is going to suck. I am pissed off at him for RUINING an opportunity to making me feel like I was on my way to becoming his girlfriend.

I'm not sure I want this anymore. . .I mean, a guy who makes me feel like that without just KNOWING the subtle, stupid little things it takes to make me happy. What could be MORE CLEAR than that he was supposed to ask me out this week? To show me that we're not just screwing around. . .guess what, Scott, we're not going to date now either.

|