So Long, Farewell, Auf Weidersehen Goodnight

Well, readers, I, too, have New Years' Resolutions, and unfortunately, one of them includes the dissolution of this blog. A couple reasons:

a) One of my New Years' Resolutions is to begin the arduous journey of fulfilling my professional dream in life. . .to be a mystery novelist. I have to start writing sometime, and since I'm out of the gym for the next six weeks. . .this seems like the perfect time to stop running on and on about the dull minutiae of my day-to-day silly, girly life, and direct that creative energy elsewhere.

b) TJ is kind of sensitive about me "revealing" too much about our relationship. He thinks that I spread every little idiosyncracy that should be kept between lovers to the whole blazing world. We were having a conversation about it last night, and I said, "you know, I really don't. I mean, if we're having a problem and I need to confide in someone, I pick a friend and confide in him/her and I don't like to blazon all our problems to the world. I learned a long time ago that that just gives a bad impression to other people, and I'd much rather advertise all the FANTASTIC, WONDERFUL things you do." This is pretty much true. But I know he'd be mortified to know some of the details I share. . .even with what amounts mostly to an anonymous public. (The blue balls post comes to mind.) And frankly, I DO share the intimate details of my life with my 20-30 closest friends :-) And perhaps it's something I need to stop. . .doing so much of, at least. So when he made the comment, "And God knows what you write on that blog of yours. . .", well, that was enough to cinch it for me. It's just a damn good reason on top of an already good reason. . .to pull my focus inward, instead of outward.

So that's that.

But I'll leave you with a few updates. . .the surgery went well. I am ENORMOUS right now, but they're still swollen. And the lypo looks like it's flattened out my perpetually pudgy tummy for good, I can't wait to see when the swelling goes down. The pain wasn't bad. I was sore for a couple days, but within about 3 days, I was up and around pretty well. I mean, I get tired faster and I'm not headed back to the gym for a while, but I'm at work.

TJ was wonderful during my surgery. For the first couple days, my tumescent incision sites, where they inject the fluid to suck the fat out, were leaking (my surgeon leaves them open because they heal faster). Inside my compression garmet (a girdle you get to wear for about six weeks so the loose skin retracts) were all these gross open incision sites leaking watery tumescent fluid. Basically, I was springing watery blood from 5 or 6 places on my body. So they put, get this, maxi pads on the sites to absorb the fluid, and they just get zipped up inside my garmet until they stop leaking a couple days later. So, every few hours, TJ had to roll me on one side, unzip, check my maxi pads, replace any that were "full," zip me back up, roll me on the other side, unzip, check my maxi pads. . . folks, if that AIN'T love, I don't know what it is!

Still don't believe me? :-) How about this? In the compression garmet, I have to pee through a crotch flap. You heard me. Who wants to uncompress every time they have to pee? But if you're a girl, you don't have very good direction over your pee. The pee would run down my leg onto the edges of the garmet EVERY DAMN TIME until I got wise and made a very wise $1.50 investment of a plastic funnel. So, yes, I'm peeing through a funnel, but before I figured that out. . .TJ would blow-dry the pee off the back of my garmet so I wouldn't have to be wet. (Don't worry, I DO get to wash it!!)

(These are probably exactly the kind of details for which TJ loathes my blog. Oh well, my surgery, my pee, my business.)

In addition, he installed a ceiling fan, vaccuumed up all the dust from every nook and cranny of my room, installed a full-length mirror to view my new Barbie-esque physique, installed a shelf for his own personal items during visits to Savannah, and instituted some "cord management" over the eighteen or so hair styling items adorning my "hair styling center" in my room by mounting a power strip closer to styling center, thereby reducing the need for me to have to perform acrobatics to reach behind the bed everytime I change appliances. Not to mention that he fed my dog, cooked gourmet meals (the best homemade lasagna, we're talking inclusive of homemade meatballs, people!), and generally just did whatever I wanted all week. He's wonderful. I mean, really really wonderful, faults notwithstanding, and I think this man really really loves me a lot. . .faults notwithstanding.

And that leads me to my last reason for saying goodbye. I started this blog primarily as a method to explore the hilarity and unbashed behavior that ensues whenever singleness besets me. . .it may have even been considered a comic escapade, working my way through the men of the South on the quest for "true love." And well. . .I think I've found it. So its purpose has been served, and its life well-lived. If TJ breaks my heart, expect to see me pop up somewhere else on the web with a new, unabashedly inappropriate web-blog chronicling my quest for the perfect man, but for right now, he seems pretty damn perfect for me. Don't worry, I'll still pop in on those of you with blogs from time to time, and I'll be using the same nom de plum, so don't forget Miss Have You. . . (as though you could. Have you SEEN me?!)